Watching His Plans Unfold and Trusting His Perfect Will

For the past several months, anytime someone asked me about my plans after graduation, I would tell them that I planned to substitute teach for a semester and then would hopefully have a graduate assistant position within the housing program at the university I planned to attend for grad school, so that would be my job for the next two years before I actually pursued getting my own classroom. 

That's all changed lately.

I had my interview for the position several weeks ago, and I was supposed to hear back about it within the week and half or so following the interview. That time passed . . . then two weeks passed . . . then three. I was beginning to become a little concerned, but a friend that had previously worked in the department assured me they had been busy with conferences and interviews for professional staff and that I shouldn't worry. The decision had probably been pushed to the back-burner for a little while. No problem. I could wait a little while longer.

So I thought.

Just when I was truly beginning to reassure myself that, "Everything would happen as it needed to, in its own time," and that "God had a hold on everything," and "I may not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future," and so forth--anything to calm my heart that was becoming overwhelmed by my "futuristic," always-planning self (thanks, StrengthsQuest, for re-affirming that "strength" . . . )--I got a Facebook message. 

The family that I was a nanny for last summer was beginning to look for a nanny for this upcoming summer, and they wanted to see if I would be interested. Of course I was interested! I had a blast with my sweet friend last summer, and would do anything to have another summer of play and adventures with her! There was only one problem: if I did get the graduate assistant position, my training would begin during the summer, possibly ruining my chance of being a nanny. This waiting game was beginning to affect a lot. Luckily, the mom that I was in contact with is one of the kindest, most understanding, supportive people you'll ever meet, and she assured me that they could wait on me a little while, until I got some more information, so that's exactly what I intended to do.

After e-mailing a contact in the department, I learned that I was not a first choice for a position, and that the top-picks had already been contacted. These candidates were given a while to respond with a "yes" or "no," and then the department would notify the next alternate if a position was still available. This was helpful, but as new things were beginning to pop up (such as our apartment complex wanting a contract renewal by the end of the month, while I wouldn't hear about this on-campus position until the middle of next month), I began to need more answers. After a couple more e-mails, I learned that the majority of the positions had been filled, and the department was only waiting on responses from two candidates, so, in a nutshell, I was beginning to feel like my chances of getting a position were pretty slim. However, I did also learn that if I were to get the position, my training wouldn't begin until close to the end of July. This little tidbit of information would prove extremely useful in my next conversation with the mom I want to nanny for this summer.

As soon as I got home that night, I shot back a Facebook message with an update on the graduate assistant position. The training would be no problem! Other arrangements could be made for the training dates if I were to get the graduate assistant position, and I was offered the nanny position again. Of course, I gladly accepted it! I now at least have a summer job lined up, but, being the "futuristic" person that I am, I'm already thinking about the next school year, too (as I should be). 

According to one of the teachers I've been working with, some schools are already starting to interview for next school year! *WHAT?! HOLY GOODNESS!! I HAVEN'T EVEN APPLIED!!* This made me super nervous, especially when a search for jobs in the area lacked postings. So, Friday afternoon, I pushed myself to go talk to the principal at the school I've been substituting at for the past few months. As it turns out, she will hopefully have some positions available next school year, and she assured me that I shouldn't worry, as they haven't posted anything yet. She can't promise anything, but she told me that she would keep me up-to-date on the timeline for applying! This was a huge relief! Although I'm pretty much back to square-one with applying for and seeking out positions, I was at least happy to know that there is potential in a familiar environment. 

Although I can't exactly see what my future holds right now--I'm not even sure I'll start grad work right away without that assistantship, or if I'll even attend the same school I had my heart set on--I'm learning more and more not to worry. I tend to be a worry-wart about many things, but God has shown me on countless occasions that things don't always go the way I plan or the way I think I would like them to--because He always has something better waiting up ahead, even when I can't always see it. It's hard not to worry about what I'll be doing four or five months from now, especially when so many other decisions are contingent upon what position I'll be in, but I know that I need to stop worrying. My God is Jehovah-Jireh, and He will always provide. Things will fall into place the way He sees fit. (Maybe I need to get Matthew 6:34 stamped across my forehead as a constant reminder to stop worrying about the future.) His will is always better than my plan, and I need to trust Him more. (<--Prayers on that front, please!)

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Say a little prayer. It'll all be okay.