Over the past year, and even some before our wedding day, I've been told a couple of different things about the first year of marriage. It's mostly the "honeymoon" phase, full of bliss . . . or it's the hardest year of marriage. I'm not really sure which one was more true for our first year, and I suppose only time will tell for the latter, but while our first year was full of many ups an downs, I learned a lot (and am continuing to learn even more) that I can apply to our upcoming years. All I know is that our first year of marriage has been one of the happiest of my life, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us, especially if this was the "hardest."
During our first year of marriage, I learned . . .
-How to be a better friend
-How to be more patient (this is something I'm still working on, heaven help me)
-How to share space
-How to have "me time" in said shared space
-How to truly love our circumstances, ugly bathroom wallpaper and all, and do my best to make our place a home, welcoming enough for peace and rest (thanks to The Nesting Place by Myquillyn Smith)
-How to put the toilet paper on the "right" way
-How to be more domestic--cleaning, baking, helping our household (partially thanks to My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn)
-How to be more submissive (also thanks to a Sara Horn book, My So-Called Life as a Submissive Wife)
-How to trust more than I ever have before
-How to be kinder
-How to support my husband in all things that he does
-How to pray for my marriage more than I talk about it
-How to pray for my husband
-How to truly appreciate my husband and all that he does for us
-How to seek wise counsel from unbiased counselors
-How to stop comparing our marriage to others' (just because others are buying houses, having babies, or taking trips, doesn't mean we need to right now; that will all come in God's perfect time)
-How to actually plan meals (it's not really a big part of single life, but this man's gotta eat!)
-How to truly put others first
-How to take better care of myself (Hubby is helping me with this big time, even if I'm not always so willing)
-How to budget better and be more spending conscious
-How to make better decisions, especially when they'll affect both of us (thanks to The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst)
-That date night doesn't have to be fancy--sometimes the best date nights involve a homemade dinner and snuggling up on the couch while watching Netflix
-The importance of relying on family and friends
-How to make our marriage reflect what God designed it as, more so than what modern society has tried to make it (thanks to The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller)
-How to do laundry more often (sweaty guys go through clothes a lot quicker than girls do)
-How to fold and organize laundry the "right" way
-How to truly let my guard down and love better (thanks to a book by Sheila Wray Gregoire)
-How to let God's Word flow into our marriage and become the focus of all that we do (as best we can; we're all sinners)
-How to work as a team, serving as each other's helpmeets
-How to schedule with and around each other
-How to be more flexible
-Never to go to bed angry
-Wives must be loved, and husbands must be respected
-That marriage is hard work. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it's worth it. I would fight for my marriage all day every day if need be, because I'm more in love with my husband than I ever have been before, and I can't wait to see where this wonderful journey takes us.
I've learned these things and so much more, but I know that I'll only continue to learn as we continue to press on through our marriage. I'm looking forward to what year two brings for us: the ups, the downs, the good times, the bad, and all of the lessons that come with everything. To make this wonderful blessing of a marriage work, it'll all be worth it.
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